SOULJA BOY MACHT FREI

I realized a little while ago when Discipline leaked that I had never sat down with an entire Janet Jackson record, so I went to iTunes to do the normal 30sec-per-song browsing to figure out what her best records were and copped them.

Listening to Control and Rhythm Nation 1812 halfway through a bus trip to West Bumfuck, Pennsylvania, a couple of things occurred to me. One, how much Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis sounded really fucking odd and overdone and all over the place, and how much like industrialized Minneapolis funk it reminded me of (not surprising since it turned out they were fired from The Time in the mid-80's for being late all the time). Also, how cheesy and underwhelming Janet's singing and performance pre-janet. was. There's a lot of unintentionally funny moments on those records.

But of late, I noticed some whole other shit that blew my mind. And that is with all of the cool, hyper-intricate and experimental programming and production Jam and Lewis did, their successor may be Soulja Boy.







"Get Silly" is my shit.

Those FL Studio hits aren't as cheap sounding and ridiculous in light of this. Give the kid 10 years and he'll be putting out classics. Like thriller caliber, deadass.

"I Don't Want Any Gays Near Me While I'm Killin' Kids"

That timely Bill Hicks quote is inspired by the continued fuckery from the throngs of useless assholes who bring you this:



See, I got awoken out of my formerly jobless (Shout out to the MET) blog slumber yesterday after the corpse formerly known as Bol posted some Japcity videos, which had their share of funny parts, but what stuck to me was the second video he posted, where this bummy wagonrider felt the need to, like every person more concerned on what other people do than taking care of their own shit, define for himself the ideas of what is and isn't hip-hop and what is and isn't manhood. Add that to a few items in the Village Voice piece about Thug Slaughter Force and, voila, I'm resurrected from my moping in my sweaty boxers to shit on people and continue to encourage passive eugenics.

First of all, its clear these dudes are just trying to get on. Which isn't fine. Ordinarily people will just shrug and encourage people to "get money", but we've reached this ridiculous 1980's-esque orgy of blind materialism and untalented starfucking careerists, so I've long ago abandoned the idea of humoring people to just "keep grindin'" and "make that money". Fuck that. Fuck you and fuck your open breezy-assed submission to free market capitalism and all the distraction and illusion of choice that comes with it. Even in a recession, things aren't nearly as bad as they have been in the past, so continued efforts to peddle yourself and suck industrial Satan's throbbing dickclit for some Black Rob shine (i.e., like 5 minutes). So the constant excuse that "I'm just starting a movement and making money" doesn't mean shit. That line of thought makes all those involved cheap mindless whores, not businessmen and artists. The revulsion from this only comes from the huge mass of people trying to get on in some way. Competitive world aside, not everyone needs to be shopping beats and trying to model. Some people are just untalented and the sooner someone crushes their aspirations and returns them to the dredges of the night shift at the Flatbush Popeye's Chicken, the better for society, the entertainment industry, and by extension, Palestine and fat mother Gaia.

Eschewing trying to formulate any defense of supposed gay looking/dressing/acting behavior within hip-hop and the black community, the simple question to pose to Japcity and Thug Slaughter Force (fuck is this, the A-Team?) is: "Why the fuck do you care about what somebody else does?"

Its a basic question that none of these people can really ask right. To prescribe one mode of behavior, one idea of masculinity, one idea of dress and speech for all black men is to be behaving like a dictator and appointing yourself to apparently know what's best for everyone. Which, from the cliched '04 Lil'Jon beat and lack of rhyming skill, these dudes are the last people who should tell anyone what's proper.

They deny this has anything to do with homophobia, and that's true. This is pretty much heterosexism, and the lamest form since its not even perceived homsexuality people are railing against, its retro clothing. People are getting hissy fits over clothing. Clothing that is mostly copied from the 80's anyway, so to declare "tight" (really just form-fitting) clothes and wearing colors instead of looking like a bum "not hip-hop" means you never really understood the concept of hip-hop in the first place.

The "No Tight Clothes" campaign is their latest idea in a decade of trying to make it in the rap game.

Why is it that the motherfuckers bitching about what is and isn't hip-hop are usually untalented? I know that, for the most part, this decade you could throw a bottle of Alize at the McDonald's dollar menu and hit 50 cats who claim to be "old school 50 crossed with Lupe Fiasco and 2Pac", but its fatiguing to see that the attitude doesn't seem to be getting any better.

There's a part of Black on Both Sides where Mos paraphrases a quote and says something to the effect that "However hip-hop is doing is how we as a people are doing". By the looks of it, despite the weirdness and degrees of freedom that have come from hipster revivals and Afro-Punk and etc the last couple of years, you still have the mangy failures of the black community talking sideways as if they had any idea what real manhood was. Worst of all, they're proliferating the weird transgressive conservatism that seems to be pervasive in mainstream black America.

"Where'd you get that shirt from?" yells Elijah Bilal, sitting outside Lalove Uniform on Fulton Street. "Bring me one!" the 40-year-old adds, and then offers a reporter his own observation about the direction of hip-hop attire: "The tight clothes—what, the boys is gay now? Boys walking around thinking they girls, girls walking around thinking they boys . . . No wonder all the girls are dating girls—because the boys are gay!"

And Bilal isn't alone in his analysis. "I like that shirt," says a 28-year-old NYPD officer on foot who didn't want to be named. "This movement of everyone wearing tight-fitting clothes—it's not nice."

...Blanco, for his part, insists that "it's not a gay-bashing movement." On the other hand, he added, "if you are homosexual, you are not gangsta. There's nothing gangster about being homosexual."

-Quoted for maximum failure.

There's two things wrong with the last quote from Blanco, besides being cliches constantly regurgitated whenever anyone is called on this shit. One is that being gay isn't gangsta. Well, one, who still cares about what is construed as being gangsta? Besides being a nebulous concept that was never defined and since when does being what your average hoodrat or GED/Jobcore case considers "gangsta" matter outside of the projects or hood or prescribe some concept of achievement?

Also, there's the whole "being gay isn't gangsta" thing. Well, seeing as the definition of gangsta involves cliches like "not giving a fuck" and "not backing down" and occasionally fucking someone up, I'd say your local black drag queen is tougher than your average Red Hook junior high dropout. But they wouldn't know that because that lack of awareness is what being ignorant is all about. Furthermore, the extension always is "gays have no place in hip-hop". Well, I'd say considering prison culture and the prominence of gays in fashion, it has huge influence, not even to address musical contributions of people both closeted (Busta Rhymes) and out (Man Parrish). And whatever happened to being inclusive? Shit is global and multi-ethnic and its hypocritical to claim that someone can't be part of a musical genre considering history. Shit, there's plenty of gay rappers, and in twenty years, they're be a decent one to surely shut up all the naysayers.

"You walk in urban communities [like] Harlem, Brooklyn, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and you see these young people walking around with pants sagging way down below their ass cheeks and underwear showing—what are you selling? That's much more homoerotic than fitted jeans," says Terrance Dean, author of Hiding in Hip Hop: On the Down Low in the Entertainment Industry—from Music to Hollywood, a book that electrified the music industry when it was published last month and hinted at the homosexuality of numerous unnamed music figures.

"It just so happens that heterosexual people are always emulating gay style," Dean says. "Most stylists are gay," and, he points out, those styles then make their way from international runways to inner- city neighborhoods. "I don't think it necessarily correlates with people being gay or feminine," he adds. "I think it's just fashion and hip-hop go hand in hand."

But he doesn't share TSF's fashion sense: "It's about time that people started wearing clothes that fit."

I always find it funny how much black America is associated with Democrats considering how conservative or alternatively materialistic is can be. Here's the thing. Until you start taping Noah's Arc to watch with your boyfriend in a post-gape cuddle session as you plan your next circuit party while quoting Paris Is Burning, you aren't gay. A culture and subculture can adopt aesthetics, mannerisms and etc into it, but that doesn't necessarily change that thing. Society has always been fluid, which is why the whole shitfit about Cam wearing pink and purple (more the latter, since dark purple represent royalty, not Santorum)was pathetic. If we start concretely assigning colors and etc. to gender and sexual orientation, you're limiting the possibilities of what people can do and be and forcing people to accept your definitions rather than their own, which never turns out well.

Is it really bothering dudes that people are walking around looking like Saul Williams or the Cool Kids? Yes, I think man purses are dumb, but that's because I think women's purses are equally as useless. Bad jokes are one thing and aren't really a concern, but to be so virulent and catch feelings over what someone else is wearing is just as fucking retarded as Kia Shine bragging about spending close to two grand on a pair of shoes and one pair of jeans.

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I'm signing off when someone successfully promotes education as "for faggot ass niggas".

Oh, and "no homo"*.



*"No homo" is easily from 2000/2001 and remember dudes stopped using it in my high school around 11th grade, and then all of a sudden all of America knows about it. Weird.

Favorite Album From Each Year of My Life

Before I get back into my own faggotry, Joey's list convinced me to ride on the Weiss auto-musical phenomenon and notate the albums, per year I was alive, not counting Dec '86 when I was conceived, that make up the internet's number 2 greatest mulatto music blogger.

1987: Boogie Down Productions- Criminal Minded
1988: Pixies- Surfer Rosa
1989: Pixies- Doolittle
1990: Entombed- Left Hand Path
1991: De La Soul- De La Soul Is Dead
1992: The Prodigy- The Experience
1993: Wu-Tang Clan- Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)
1994: Notorious B.I.G.- Ready To Die
1995: Raekwon- Only Built For Cuban Linx
1996: Ghostface Killah- Ironman
1997: Jay-Z - In My Lifetime Vol. 1
1998: Refused- The Shape of Punk to Come
1999: Mos Def- Black on Both Sides
2000: Badly Drawn Boy- The Hour of Bewilderbeast
2001: Converge - Jane Doe
2002: Clinic- Walking With Thee
2003: Three 6 Mafia- Da Unbreakables
2004: Death From Above 1979- You're A Woman, I'm A Machine
2005: Kanye West- Late Registration
2006: Converge- No Heroes
2007: UGK- Underground Kingz
2008: Danity Kane- Welcome To The Dollhouse

A couple of interesting things- 1989, 1991, 1994, 2000-2004, 2006 and 2007 were hard to pick a favorite because there were a bunch of albums that were fucking amazing. Also, 2005 had no great rap album besides Late Registration, which is interesting in retrospect since 2007 and 2006 had a bunch of great ones and the public discussion on the creative death of rap started around 2006. In fact, 2007 and 2002 were probably the hardest years and I had to listen to UGK, Devin, Kanye and Battles all at once to choose my favorite album of last year.

Since the tie-breakers were based on musical preference, doing this was very informative about what kind of sounds and genres I tend to prefer on gut reaction, as opposed to seriously and objectively weighing the albums out. So really, this becomes "the albums that I'd rather listen to at any given time than the other albums that came out that year that were great".

"I Kind Of Like It When People Die"

In taking a break from my bullshit ass space of the Blogspot universe, I don't feel the need to eulogize or sentimentalize George Carlin. He wasn't that type of comic and, though he was certainly more human and dignified and complex than most of the people I've actually met, heavy-handed ejaculations of adjectives and achievements won't sum up the life and sad death of one of my favorite comedians and, up until today, the best comedian alive. Besides, the next week will be filled with tons of deserved discussion and biography of the man, all of which can be safely assumed I'd write about anyway. So in the coming days, the best pieces will be culled and linked here.

So with that, some clips from his angrier, nihilistic and trippy latter days, of which is my favorite Carlin era.

R.I.P.






Chuck Berry better not even fucking consider dying.

Best Album of '08 So Far:

Dead-ass. Only solid album released this year so far. And dammit, despite the horrible ringtone production (in the rockist sense), shit is catchy as hell.

Seriously. I know the labels are retarded and think the loudness warms and compression and making shit ringtone-ready is a good idea, but what if I actually enjoy listening to Danity Kane for the music and don't want to focus on the tinny drums and anemic EQ?

Arbitrarily:
1. Danity Kane- Welcome To The Dollhouse
2. Erykah Badu- New Amerykah
3. Origin- Antithesis
4. Portishead- Third
5. Lil' Wayne- Tha Carter III
6. Disfear- Live The Storm

And there's still Arghoslent, Coffins, Dismember, Cursed, The Day Everything Became Nothing, and Protest The Hero to soak up. Unsurprisingly, all of that is metal/hardcore.

Although I do think L.A.X will truly define The Game as an important, creative, original, and surely, important rapper.

Having Your Cake and Insulin, Too

A few weeks ago, in what seems to be standard for big album releases or album releases by big names the last two years or so, Busta released two videos for two simultaneous singles, undoubtedly devised and conceptualized to appease everyone or at least enough people that it sells more copies than Busta's last few albums.

Maybe the fall-off wouldn't have happened if he hadn't based the bulk of his past albums around the concept that there was "...only 5 years left" and that the year 2000 would be the End Days.

But the first video is some bullshit with Linkin Park where everyone is over-emoting and doing that post-mid-90's thing where people thing putting a facade of emotion on is the same as evoking anything at all. Also, besides that one good song on Meteora and the singles from Hybrid Theory, Linkin Park invariably equals fail. Plus, the video reeks of, "Hey, let's get with the rock demograpgic! Like when we tried to do when we had Jonathan Davis in that video no one ever played off that album no one liked", as well as this bullshit black conservative Tony Robbins bullshit that's been peddled through mainstream rap and what's left of R&B since Pac was a alive. Its all just sort of empty and meaningless regardless of whether they're trying to be genuine or, more likely, just offering some bad faux-alt rock to make Donkey Kong-era Busta seem more interesting or eclectic than he may be.


(Note Jonathan Davis from 3:30-3:40 and, for some reason, Ghostface at 3:42-3:44)

So the Linkin park video, and song, are awful. But thankfully, there's a second single and video, "Don't Touch Me", which as a track is awesome. But as a video, it carries a bunch of signifiers that, like every (successful) rapper out who is not Lupe Fiasco, Lil' Wayne, Devin the Dude or Kanye West, his peak is long gone and despite all of the recent attempts to climb back on top it probably won't happen.


Frame by frame, the video is basically kind of an homage to "Gimme Some More" in terms of the Warner Bros. cartoon aesthetic, but the issue is that Busta, as opposed to all of the transformations that emerged after he decided to cut his hair and make decent but odd singles with Mariah Carey is trying hard to remind the naysayers and old heads that he can still be the wild, colorful and creative figure he was some 7 or 8 years ago before his sales started slumping and 50 Cent emerged, fucking up the entire NY rap landscape for years to come.

Interspersed throughout a sort-of cool but ultimately pointless and aimless video are these really awkward shots of Busta's weedcarriers and hangers on and basically shots revolving around a lyrical concept of his since his first record that everyone ignored until The Big Bang because people weren't actually paying as much attention to his rhymes that they did for his flow and behavior and videos, that he's tough and used to sell drugs and will kill you or have his goons do it. Basic whitebread-ass thug posturing. But in a post-Get Rich Or Die Trying world, all of that gets amplified because clearly there is a market for dumb Pac-worshipping G-Unit dickriders who hate music but love hollow machine-gun drums and vaguely homoerotic album covers. And rightfully so, Busta has drawn criticisms for, not the toning down and smoothing out of his flow, which is understandable, being being more and more of an asshole since The Big Bang. The vitriolic homophobia, the dumb-ass DMX-ish run-ins with the law, getting his bodygaurd and friend murked and then upholding the dumb-ass "no snitching" rule, and most of all going overboard on trying to portray himself as a vicious, hardbody NY boss that should be feared.

And its kind of obvious what happened to the guy based on this video. The various shots, one of Busta just counting money, sitting next to girls, intimidating two larger dues who run up on him and Swizz, weird shots of him and his crew just standing around mean-mugging, and the implied "throwing away goons in a trash bag" shot around 1:47-1:54. If you asked him he would probably say he's balancing what he is now, the parts of him that have always rapped about beating people up but has gotten more extreme now, and the silly vibrant animated part of him, which he had clearly been, as opposed to Redman who has always had the balance, running away from. Especially the embarrassing attempt at beef after The Black Album came out. The direction and editing of the video is pretty shoddy so those odd rising shots of Busta and what I assume to be Flipmode affiliates come off awkwardly and just emphasize the taking-yourself-too-seriously-because-you-want-respect mode of thinking Ludacris has been in lately.

Its sad that Redman was the only rapper to balance the funny/thuggy persona out. But even sadder that after all this scrutiny and Busta starting to become reviled in his attempts to combine nostalgia (note the DAISY colors) with his new marketing scheme than he would've on his previous path.

And its logical. Who wants a murderous Busta Rhymes anyway?

Tha Carter III (Or How I Learned To Stop Caring And Listen To Kool Keith)

Usually I don't do reviews, unless its a case where the artist is someone I like but am constantly infuriated by or disappointed in, which makes for a more interesting read than "OMG, Converge RULEZ!!!". And so, to put a nail in the coffin of any more mention of Lil' Wayne on here, Tha Carter III track by track.

"3 Peat"- There's a plague in this decade of people trying to manufacture what they think emotion is, both in inflection (the scourge known as whisper-rapping) and production. So its always faux-melodrama and bad string synths because most rappers are full of shit and can't really put across like feeling, say, Ghostface. And then of late they've been heaping on the production to mask rappers' deficiencies to the point that all you need is an impressive sounding voice (Yung Joc, Jeezy, Shawty Lo) and you can get by on being awful. Wayne isn't really awful at all, but a lot of his album beats in the past have been, residing in that place of stale pretend melodrama that I'd hope people over 17 could see as bullshit. This intro track is better than all the "Fly In/Out" shit from Tha Carter II, but its still pretty "stock", to quote Lars Ulrich. And for a rapper who is split between lyrically great and impotent , its a bad move to have your conceptually dramatic and regal opening track be this stale.

"Mr. Carter"- People have been making these songs since Blueprint, so listening to this is more cute than anything. As a 16-year-old I'd probably be really impressed by this, and this will definitely be played in cars and on blocks for a minute. But more than "Hello Brooklyn 2.0", which was apparently a cut and paste job, this shows the lineage between Jay and Wayne and the differences, being Jay became boring whereas Wayne's whole selling point is being weird and entertaining. Also, is Wayne what a high Jay-Z would sound like if Jay really fell off a lot, or is Jay what Lil' Wayne would eventually evolve into if he improved his lyrics? I feel its the latter when hearing Jay say pretty much nothing of semblance on the song, but making it sound ten times better than Dwayne. Although, I can't help but hear some Wayne-biting on Jay's part, flow-wise. Hm.

"A Milli"- The mixtape version is better since this version has excised all the fantastically fucked up parts, including the random mention of "the almighty power of Allah". And, this is sort of representative of why Lil' Wayne probably won't be able to put together a good album for a while but can shit good mixtapes for days. "A Milli" would work on an album only as a mass posse track, like "Scenario", although that's giving it credit because "Scenario" had a hook to keep everything together. That's going to be the common thread to all of this, it feels like a well-produced, DJ-less mixtape and not an album. But kids these days don't know shit and don't care about albums so I'm sure it won't bother a lot of people.

Seriously. Fuck this generation.

"Got Money" Feat T-Pain- Fucking awful. And I'm sure I've heard the synth line in another song before. This is the most unnecessary thing he could've put on this.

"Comfortable"- The most unnerving thing on here, just because there's no transition between this timeless sounding old man Rap&Bullshit and the previous T-Pain ass-baby. Its a pretty beat, for sure, but the only good thing Wayne says on here is the opening line, "To the left to the left/if you wanna leave be my guest you can step/feeling "Irreplacable" listening to Beyonce/That's okay I'll put you out on your B'day". Its weird because at the heart of it all, when he isn't spazzing out he's addressing pretty mundane topics, which makes him perfect for the time we live in, I guess. Dude is the Family Guy of rap.

"Phone Home"- I listened to this again last night and it always makes me laugh from how ridiculous it is. Not to beat a dead horse, but I like to compare this to "Nutmeg" by Ghostface, "Sex Style" by Kool Keith and "Rollin Wit You" by ODB. And by far, no one will ever do this shit as good as ODB. Ever.

LOL @ Nicki Minaj's Rosie Perez-ass voice talking about "Planet Weezy" and some guy purposely yelling "Phone Home" with a retard's inflection.

A Retard's Inflection would be the best title for a Weezy anthology.

Honestly, there's schoolkids across the US who are having their mind's blown right now because they've never heard any rap album or non-mainstream record made before 2003.

"Dr. Carter"- I sense a pattern. I can't wait for him to rap over ye-ye and call it "Misseur Carter". Decent enough beat, although this is some old cool urban jazz soundtrack shit I've heard before and it doesn't actually amount to anything. I'd say the beats are wasted on Wayne, but the beats aren't that spectacular in the first place. Just sort of good and enjoyable.

"Tie My Hands"- I used to really like Robin Thicke. But then again I used to claim allegiance to artists based on hearing one good song by them, only to be disappointed with weedplate albums. This is another rare political addressing of Katrina by Wayne, which is a shame because the song is boring. Would it be fucked up to suggest that Katrina was great for Wayne's career?

"Shoot Me Down"- Unlike Devin The Dude's last album, this is the type of beat where recontextualizing something corny through a hip-hop lens doesn't make it good. ::Delete::

"Playin' With Fire"- You can see what he's going for, but a better rapper would've succeeded in milking all the drama and legitimate fire the sample and the hook break actually have. Wayne starts his verses weak and doesn't really rise above that. And also, is the umpteenth track to have awful simile's. "I get better with time like a watch". Actually that only applies to wood instruments and wine. Everything gets worse. Speaking of guitar, I would've actually loved a solo Weezy guitar track on here. Why didn't he think of that? Go all in, man.

"Lollipop"- I hated this song almost as much as Roger Ebert hated "North". And then two weeks later, it kind of bloomed in my head. The verses on this song actually seem brilliant and well-written in comparison to the rest of the record, which is a goddamn shame. The best song on the album, no homo.

"La La"- David Banner, after "Rubberband Man" got popular quickly realized that those little kid major key melody beats would sell like hotcakes, so I feel like he's got a whole Raffi album's worth of shit in the vault somewhere, considering how sporadically he gets beats out. Again, despite an interesting 00's "serious" Busta Rhymes verse (Side note: Busta Rhymes is a faggot and should get suppurated. Not because he's actually gay, though one can hope, but because he's an fucking asshole of "Punks Jump Up To Get Beat Down" status and my schadenfreude knows no bounds.) the track goes nowhere.

"Nothin' On Me"- Would be cool on a Dipset album or something. This reeks of "second-tier radio track", something decent but not serious enough to release with a video but you release it to Hot 97 or whatever to play anyway. And I'd like to see Juelz shot in the mouth. Not through the mouth, but in a way to fuck up his jaw and let him have recovery time, so maybe his bullshit will be more tolerable if he comes back with a different sound for those garbage lyrics. Hey, worked for 50.

"Let The Beat Build"- A minute too long and Wayne is not the rapper to have on this track. Or anyone, at that. Its kind of dumb, now that I've listened to it too much. ::Delete::

"Mrs. Officer"- Everything Bobby Valentino touches sucks ass. This song is no exception. As Brandon previously opined, dude's trying to be everything for maximum commercial saturation and he ends up just sucking in the end. Also, this story seems to clash with what I've learned from his condom ads. Strange.

"Misunderstood"- One of few tracks I don't instinctively fast-forward through. Solely for his batshit ballsy 6 minute political monologue towards the end, which wouldn't matter if, say, Dead prez, El-P, or Immortal Technique said it. But when a high-as-fuck Lil' "Wobbedly Wobbedly Drop it Like I'ma Eat A Star" Wayne starts dropping some intro to PoliSci talking points, its simultaneously jarring, funny, and endearing, solely for being a guy whose calling card and career is built on dumb-ass shit like spending 6 albums rapping about the same shit everyone else raps about but in a shallower, more disingenuous way. And in this regard, Wayne is like Pac. But I can't wait for Al Sharpton to catch wind of this from his grand-nephew or whoever. Especially since Wayne isn't wrong about disliking Al Sharpton, who does more harm than good in pretending to represent black America. The only addicting thing on this album, really.

"Lollipop Remix"- Hahahahahahaha. Right.

So basically, I will definitely never listen to this album in its entirety again. 7/8'th of it is going right to the recycle bin right now and I'm in the process of downloading last year's leaked Tha Carter III for a comparison and to mix-and-match like everyone else is doing.

So overall, the shit is like a 5 out of 10. A 10 being ...Cuban Linx, a 1 being Da Musicianz.

The leak of the previous incarnation of the album definitely fucked things up for this version of the album and its a shame that Wayne OD'ed on material because, though a cliche, the stuff he released for free had enough great shit where if he had someone helping him cull and do quality control, this album could've easily been something like an 8 or so.

Well, I hope Tha Carter IV at least has a Tracy Chapman cover.